Controlling people?? Me????

I know that I can't get everything under control.

To be honest, I'm already losing my grip.

Just a slight weakening of the muscles and it's the end for me.

With you guys, I have to be strict.

I have to put on a straight face all the time.

I don't want you all to take me as a joke.

And I don't give a damn if you wanna go and oh-so-childishly boycott me.

With you guys, I have to be friendly.

I have to wear a smile on my lips.

Sort of, 'ordering' you guys by still using a warm tone.

But sometimes, I still can't get you all to do the things I want you all to do.

With you guys, I have to act like I don't care.

And try to cover for you guys when you were having forty winks in class.

But, I still don't get why I'm always the last one to know something.

With you guys, I have to be superwoman.

Going solo probably 24/7.

With you guys, I have to be happy.

'Cause I don't wanna ruin your mood.

With you, I have to ignore the way your eyes shine.

Trying my best to stop the door of my memories from opening.

With you, I have to be optimistic.

'She doesn't know how to control her own pressure.' someone said.

Yeah. But is it really my duty to cheer you up every time you have one of your mood swings?

But with you, I just have to be myself.

You shine.

Even brighter than the Sun.

Always so rife with energy.

You make me so happy, just by being yourself.

Thank you. =)

Confused

How can it be wrong to do something you love doing?

How can you ask me to ignore those feelings that bundles up in my heart??

How can something that feels so right be so wrong?

I don't get it.

So what if you think that I'm better at academics?

Like that changes anything.

I don't wanna become a dentist. -No offence for those who actually do-

Why can't you accept the fact that I don't wanna be who you want me to be?

Yes, I know, money makes the world go round and all but...

Isn't happiness important as well??

I don't wanna die rich but miserable.

You didn't even give me a chance to explain.

You just questioned everything that I believed in.

Do you feel happy?

Shattering other people's dreams??

I don't need your blessings.

Just quit stopping me from believing.

The moment when your heart pumps blood through your blood vessels faster than a roller coaster cart, when you feel like there's a light shining through you, when you see your own reflection in the eyes of others... That's the moment I'm waiting for.