I really am tired of pretending.
Pretending that I don't care about anything when that tiny little voice in my head - which by the way, is the coolest song ever - is probably screaming at the top of its lungs for me to stop.
Why do we have to pretend?
Pretending that we like something even though we hate it just to get into a conversation with someone so-called 'popular'.
I don't get it.
One moment you said something, the next you take it back.
One minute you said you'll do that, the next you do something the opposite.
That just complicates things.

29.May.2010: Choral Workshop

Before I bore you guys with my totally emotional and somehow senseless posts, here's a post which will be - for the first time ever - quite happy. (Emphasis on 'quite' , I didn't say 'all the way through').

So, MGS and our school's choir are gonna hold a choral performance tomorrow. And there's gonna be a choir from NUSS, which is a university in Singapore. Therefore, there was a workshop at our school hall just now from 2-5.30pm.

After running through a few songs, the Singaporeans arrived. And all we could see was people. Not only people, but old people. Bear in mind that all of us thought it was gonna be people of almost 20-year-or-so. Like, it's a university. Whatever. This proofs that the famous saying '活到老, 学到老' is actually true.

NUSS' choir's conductor was awesome. Not only was he the only one who's younger, looks younger, the tallest, conducts -duh-, but he could play the piano pretty good and sing as well. Not to mention that the finale song 'Wherever You Are' was actually written by him. =D And the way he conducts, oh man, you guys should have really, really seen it!!!! It's like totally different and yet we could all get what he meant. WEIRD.

Actually, the weirdest thing was that Li Fei said that Ming Ching, who's voice is way more girlish than mine, looked 'shuai'. Chew Ying even agreed. Oh gosh. I can't believe this. O.O

Chew Ying, as usual, was pretty down due to some 'choir issues' again. When I say 'choir issues', I'm referring to the fact that she thinks she's not good enough to be the conductor. Seriously, I don't get it. Why the heck do people who are great think that they suck??!! After being convinced quite a few times by me, she cheered up by about 1%.

The teacher told us suddenly that we had to perform 2 extra songs!!!!!! And tomorrow's the concert!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah. I believe we're Gods alright. Pulling up 2 songs with half an hour of practice today and another hour tomorrow. Great. And guess what. We got scolded because we were practicing for the 2 songs. Haha. (Sarcastic laugh, not an actual one)

It was quite fun actually. I like the feeling of having tenors and basses in the choir. I like getting to tease Ming Ching because of her girlish voice. I like the feeling of getting to lecture Chew Ying when she was emotional. Yeah. I know I'm evil. =)

I'm sorry for everything I've done.
For what I haven't done.
I know that being sorry doesn't help the situation.
But still...
I really don't know what to do.
I don't know what I should do.

I'm sorry for being totally useless.
For being 'idea-less'.
My mind just doesn't function like you guys' do.
It goes blank.
Adrenaline will jolt through its veins.
But still....
Nothing happens.
It's like the nerve connecting to it is missing.

I'm sorry for being socially inactive.
For having zero social skills.
For blurting things that are both pointless and ineffective at the same time.

I'm messed up.
And I don't know how to fix it.

Freak

I have no idea what I was doing.
This is ridiculous.
Look at what I've done.
How I messed up.
Seriously, I don't think I can fix it anymore.

The Worst Person Ever

*WOOTS*

Okay. A lot of you might be saying (in your head):
What the heck?! I thought she was emo?!'
But apparently, the change in the time-table just made my day!!
I'm finally gonna say buh-bye to that damn PJ teacher.
And I suppose I'll never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
See her again.
Since she is never at her desk. =P



Okay. This is lame of me to publish a post just to say that I'm finally free of her.
But then.....
I really despise her.